f I didn’t feel shame or fear. Hmm.. I really don’t know. If you asked me this last year, I’d give you an answer. But now, I have already said, “F it”. I’ve asked and received, taken risk and learnt its lessons. I am doing everything I have always wanted to do and still doing them. My daily routine and activity have helped me to handle my shame and fear better.
Dear Favour, I think this time, I am fine. Fine with my current activities. How much more can I ask for? Favour, I am grateful. I have a five figure trading account, a mac, stable wifi connection, light, a trading system, phone, and lately, I have been following my rules diligently. I don’t feel shame or fear. I feel great.
Permit me to steal this quote from Michael Jordan. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default. One thing I need to let go of to move forward is: my “fear of failure” and “over-cautiousness” if that’s even a word. I believe my phobia for losses is one thing I need to let go of to be able to move forward in life.
What would you have done differently?
I always wondered how i’d actually feel if today was my last. Honestly, I won’t be satisfied. I have never truly lived yet.. There’s just a lot to be done and I know that now. The fat project. I can’t boast of being consistent profitable. Haven’t seen the world, who am I even kidding? I haven’t even seen a giraffe in real life. I don’t like the fact that I can count the number of people i’ve helped. My family needs to taste what wealth feels like. My nephew, siblings and the least is endless. Even “me”. My freedom is still hanging. My mom isn’t fully proud if her daughter. I made a promise.