A trader’s Labyrinth!…

Diving into this [scribbling], you should know it’s not another—panegyric.

What could I be getting myself into—with this one?

[soft music playing] I always wondered what a traders’ life is like. [birds chirping] All I see is the success stories; Never the struggles. Men, Women screaming, “blues” like they are watching some sort of football match.

Instagram captions are like, “… Just bagged 250 pips” [pfft] Where’s the lie?… Why the half stories?… [eye-rolling] I wonder!

[Children chatting in a distance] Labyrinth!… All I can think of… is the artist—“Labrinth”. But, this might just be cos’ [pondering] there hasn’t been a deep thought.

“Most traders are just—juvenile account-strumpets… jonesing on a get-rich-quick scheme… You know [smirk] they play catch and run from the ball; Go fishing but flee from the fish. Pfft… Imagine—cowards!”

Ouch!… “lost but found” [wide grin] did you catch your sub?… say’s Jamal.

A Trader’s Labyrinth

The word “labyrinth” is seen in—the bible… as a path… spiritual path—which involves one’s body and opening one’s heart to God. [Groans] This isn’t some vampire dairies… originals stuff. 

But, as traders, this “labyrinth” can be seen as a confusing structured path or passage… easy to get lost, but without tricks—unlike, the maze (similar).

A trader's labyrinth
Hey… I’m Jamal.

Ever heard someone say, “… You might lose yourself in a labyrinth; in the wall street of trading”.

[mischievous laughter] No one said that; I just did.

Anyway… lets gradually pick out words—so as to get reasons for this subject/topic.

A Trader’s Labyrinth … Damn, I’m Broke.

[children laughing and whooping faintly] My name’s Jamal and this is my trading labyrinth. 

“a confusing structured path or passage… easy to get lost, but without tricks”… Now imagine this “path” as my trading—path.

Blown accountsanalysis-paralysis joining the bandwagon… jumping from one strategy to another; one signal group to another.

Yup!… Does that sound familiar?

I’ll answer that [jamal grinning]… Yes! it does.

So, “a trader’s labyrinth” can also mean “a trader’s struggle”—in search of financial freedom.

My struggles, my success stories… [heavy sigh] Am I successful?… Was I successful?—What exactly is success?

[a droplet down his cheeks] So many questions… Who’s there to answer.

A Trader’s Labyrinth … My Origin

A trader's labyrinth
“Most traders are just—juvenile account-strumpets… jonesing on a get-rich-quick scheme.”

My story starts in a small town, near Wickery bridge, in Oakland. [screams] Auugh!… having to remember this… [voice estranged] the pain, torment, euphoria… 

You know what, let me ask a question… “How do you feel right now?”

[Short pause] No, like—how do you really feel. [smirk] Those gimmicks—do they work?… Another question? [chuckle] Well, you’re here—reading this anyway… So, why not?

What defines your success as a trader? Pfft… Right predictions, money, [pause] “loss”… [Wide annoying grin] Oh! I’m sorry—what were you thinking?

Let me know when you have an answer to that. 

Cos’ writing this, right now, right here, I can’t really… exactly… tell.

When can a trader claim the word “successful”… [sigh] When can I, Jamal, claim it?

Little Oakland…

A trader's labyrinth
Well, I remember it being… like this. Wickery Bridge… Oakland 1852

Ugh… Deflecting again—pfft, well…

Anyway, back to old [sluggish] Oaklan-d. You know, busy town and all.

Everyone’s trying to make their miserable life—meaningful. [smirk] Excuse my german. 

Heh. Still some good in it though.

Oakland… A land of hustlers. [sighs] Ugh. Since you are enjoying this ride, I might as well chip in another—question.

Do you think your community affects your personality… If yes, Will that affect your life as a trader?

You see, the one thing I love about “little Oakland” is… “It wasn’t okay to sleep—whilst being broke”. You just couldn’t. 

In my case—my community affected my personality. Cos’ I have a determined spirit (at least that’s what I thought).

It’s a rat race… where everyone is just trying to survive on some—tiny cheese. In this race, not everyone gets out alive. [Smirk] I’m thinking… pfft… heh… Doesn’t that sound like our little trading world?

But, most don’t—get the cheese!

“I mean 2 out of… 10 traders actually succeed. The rest, well… They blow their account, blame the poor market and its candles, or [exhale] commit—suicide”. 

[Scoffs] In Oakland, when you die—the vultures are… [mulling]… hmm… what’s an annoying word for this?

You probably figure that out. What am trying to say is… [coughing] No-one cares!

You know, on second thought [grunts]… Oakland is very similar to Wall streets. Only… The streets are without “walls”. 

Heh… Don’t read too much meaning to that… It doesn’t even make sense to me. That was an aspiring “Les Brown” speaking. 

The Streets Of Oaklands…

What’s a typical morning like—in Oakland? [birds chirping] Well, you know how you wake up to… that cock crow, In Oakland… That isn’t the best of alarms.

The cocks here—crow at 2 am.

Weird… Right. 

A Trader's Labyrinth
The serene life of Oakland…

It’s like an alien-infested… Zone. How on God’s… green-earth does that even make sense.

Beautiful houses… Greenfields… Amazing weather… Oakland was mini heaven [chuckling] won’t lie. But… 

I remember using the term “a rat race”… 

Everyone here is in some sort of competition. [Gasp] I keep deflecting… Probably because I really can’t… properly describe—Oakland. 

Suits… buses… trains… hold-up (cars remain more than humans [wink]), people acting like bots… Cos’ they all have somewhere to be. 

There are the white-collars—who matter; the red-collars—who don’t. [grin] Tell me, where do you think Jam was?

Sigh… 9-5?

[Pen dabbling] Writing is really not my forte though. My wrist hurts.

But, [wide grin] did I mention that… Oakland is the land of white collars. Hard turn-out-on-events… considering—I didn’t have a four-walled educational system to attend. Rather, I attended but… Was bored (don’t ask why?).

Dropped out.

So, those white collars… Were not for me. [chuckling softly] I had red collars. You know [pouting]; the Target kind. [Gasp] huh… forgot a tiny piece of detail—”$12/Hr” [laughs] heh!

Yup… those 9hrs of work… you know (9-5)—the normal standard.

A Trader's Labyrinth
If only…

Was me… managing the remaining hours of my miserable life—here on earth. Had nothing to live for.

“Jamal!” My boss would scream… Like he lost the reproductive organ he stole from—his wife. I ignore [eye-rolling]… Usually, I see his mouth moving, but have no idea what he’s saying.

Not to have a—cavalier attitude… but, let me tell you a little Jamal secret.

There’s hate; there’s dislike… Don’t know the difference apparently. But, I “hated” being controlled… Having to work for someone, Pissed me off. 

The stupid alarm rings at 7—in the morning… Have to be available by 9… Only to get there, and have someone yell at you. [pause] I left out a detail. Pfft… I trek. Every day; all day.

I remember daydreaming… asking myself [mulling], “Is this what you want in life?… Is this where you see yourself (freaking target-liked shirt) in 5 years. [sighs] Of course not!

I needed a change!… Needed my own… money… travel the world (wasn’t planning on dying here)… Just be financially free.

[stuttering]

But, I mean… what can a drop-out do?

Roots… What Now?

Do you believe in—second chances?

What’s that thing they say?… “There’s a crack in everything.  That’s how the light gets in.”

In this case… “Roots”.

A Trader's Labyrinth
It hit us… Without warning. What now?

It was a sunny day actually… coming back from hell (my red-collar target)… and by that—I mean it.

Lightning… droplets… thunder… But, [pants] the sun was shining. Hmm…

[Scoffs] when I was younger—they made a joke… said, “It’s an elephant”… giving birth. [sniffles] How weird was it… huh!

Got home. Had a bath… Nah… [sighs] scratch that… I went to sleep (at least I thought I did). Kinda felt restless won’t lie. Picked myself up and… turned on the T.V…

There it began.

In the southern part of Korea, there was a man “Dong-Hyun”… [laughs] I really don’t know how it’s pronounced… stole the name from google. But, just had to find a name—[scoffs] cos’ my story needs one.

Dong-Hyun was the first person—diagnosed of roots.

According to the visual story-tellers (news)… He had—Contagious coughs… sore-throat… swollen gums… red eyes—filled with mucus… He became literally untouchable (no pun needed).

These were the symptoms of “roots”. No cure… Anyone who got it, made a coffin—immediately!

Businesses… Airports (not that I could travel)… schools (proud drop-out)… Shops—all closed up. Strict curfew!

Dark clouds… rainy day… annoying storm. All I could think of was—what now?

Metamorphosis…

Still on the topic… a trader’s labyrinth …

Months passed. [sniffles] I started to feed on cassava cakes… drinking… chewing… eating. Looking in the mirror, [wince] Damn… I’m skinny. [chuckling] A hairless guinea pig would look at me and… be proud.

A Trader's Labyrinth
I need help!

[Mulling] No job; No money… What can I do to survive? Guess—I can finally call upon him.

And by him, I mean “God”. [Smirk] Hold on… I know what you might be thinking… Wow!… Really?

I’m not completely an ignorant—you know… [Laughs] Heh… In all fairness, I believe in God; I believe he exists. Now it’s actually when I need him the most.

Sometimes, I forget to say a prayer—But, I’m usually safe. 

Confused… [Grunts] Frustrated… Angry—I need his help.

The government ( I don’t really know how… they govern this—little town though) declared a curfew… 6-6… No one is allowed to work, travel or even stroll on the streets—by that time.

[Grin sarcastically] Oh!… No… Mystic falls all-over again. Where’s Stefan?… Where’s Damon… [Sigh]…

Well, ergo, [snickers] I need God. I need help.

A Trader’s Call For Help… 

It’s currently… 3:14pm [snickers] No like—literally… Writing this it’s “3;14 pm”. Went down on my knees for the first time in a—long while. I reached out to God. 

[Softly chuckles] Like… can you believe it?… I—reached out… Anyway, assistance was needed… [Pondering] If I remember correctly the Bible said, “… The name of the Lord is a—strong tower; the righteous runs to it and they’re—safe”.

A Trader's Labyrinth
Lord, I need you to give me… something; anything.

The big question was… Pfft… Am I a part of those “righteous”?… Well, I didn’t care—I just needed help.

What was my prayer?… 

Lord, I come before you today… [sniffles] I’m literally not the best at prayers. But, right now, right here—I need your help. This is beyond my control and I’m confused. 

You know Lord… Heh… I’m not the kind to work for people, neither one—to take orders… But, I need something—anything.

A job were I earn literally from home, my way, my terms, my choice.

Might not be the easiest—but, Lord that’s exactly what I want.

Hmm… I remember vividly like it was yesterday, how I cried profusely. [sniffles] help!… Help me Lord. You know the funny part—I had no idea what the job was; I wanted. No idea if they’re jobs like that in—existence.

[Grin] all I know was… I needed money cos’ of curfew and lack of jobs, But, I mean… What can a college drop-out do?

What In The World Is This?

[Exhales] Bed’s calling,

Everywhere’s awfully quiet—How about we go on that TV shall we?

[Gasp] Oh—my God! What… 50,000 deaths… Why, How?

A Trader's Labyrinth
What!… Is this even possible?

Exactly… how “roots” had taken over everything and everyone. Well, I’m no shrink—this could be it… The wake-up call; [Sighs] My-y wake-up call.

Cos’ I’m not about to die… a broke man. [Sniffles] Oh, Lord… [mulling] I hope you heard my prayer?

As if that wasn’t enough, I started having an annoying cough, swollen gum and sore throat… [shrieked] What!… [Quavering] No-o-o-o-o… Wh-a-t is t-his?

[Stammering] No I—no—no—no… Argh!… Wait, It can’t be happening. 

Okay… I think I’ll have to remain calm (trying to convince my little brain)… and look for a solution. [Pondering] I know what to do… Sleep!—Yes, I’ll sleep and everything will be fine. I’m probably over-thinking because of roots.

[Laughs] The thought of me actually trying to convince myself was—beyond hilarious… at that time. Heh, Imagine!

There were two reasons… I kept convincing myself—One was, I had no cash for hospital bills. Secondly, I wasn’t ready to die, Not just dying… [scorned] But, dying as a failure.

I’ll sleep now!

A Trader’s Labyrinth …Eureka

Hey, you still there? Don’t worry… I didn’t die.

Turns out—I had a slight cold… which obviously makes sense—considering… the fact that; I’m usually always cold.

There!… No roots.

A Trader's Labyrinth
A little bit of luck… was all I needed. Could this be it?

I wasn’t still safe though… Cos’ at this point, anything was possible. Remember, it’s a contagious one (pandemic). Just a close contact, as little as—breathing, one could contact it. 

Guess what?

[Laughs] Heh… I won’t be leaving my house today. Who knows, maybe that was a sign from God. I won’t lie… for a second there—It felt like I was… Dying.

It’s currently, 11:05 pm and all I can think of is… The internet. I’ll probably see if there’s any—[drum roll] Gossip!

Mm… Heh… uh, I mean [smirk] I always ask this question… now I mean it… “What can a drop-out do”—If not watch other people’s lives… which equates to-o [blushing] Gossip. See, that wasn’t so hard.

Ssh… I know you do that too.

Anyway, there… I was listening to this new—Brian’s gist… Don’t worry “it’s 1865″—You wouldn’t know the gist. An ad popped, this guy was just chatting [expletive] *hit. He said, something, something… “make money from home” something, something… “Do you want to be rich now?”

[Exhales deeply] Eureka!… Yes, There it was, my moment, my second chance, my window just cracked and that was my—Light.

[Gasp] There’s a number, [mouthing] 590-786-9999… What!… You think I’ll dawdle?

[Calling]

A Trader’s Labyrinth …The Phone Call

[Phone chimes] Ugh… [still sleepy] what’s that?

Hold up… [whimpers] Heh… mm… You probably wondering what’s happening… So, here’s the thing—I tried calling that number… No one responded. Got disappointed, slept off.

Till now… 

[Phone buzzing] Hello, who’s this?

Hey, Is this Jamal?… 

Ugh, Yeah… heh… who want’s to—know?

[Hesitates] Oh. Hey… ugh, Jamal…

This is Harman from—Astro Trading World. We saw your call, wondering if you’re interested in our—program.

Ugh, [softly chuckles] heh, which program?

[Harman] All right, so we are a group of—traders… aimed at educating people to earn from home—through trading. You can become a millionaire too, just from your home’s comfort. Is that something you’ll like Jamal?

[Jamal] Mm… Are you asking or telling? I mean—you said the word “millionaire… earn from home”. [Mulling] Are you baby Jesus… Cos’ that was my exact prayer. It’s definitely something I’ll like—Sir.

Great, we’ll advise you visit our website… [mouthing the web address] To get started. 

[Gazed voice faint]… to hearing from you Jamal. Have a blissful day!

Honestly guys, All I picked from that call was… “millionaire, website, and earn from home”—I jumped on my computer and started my research. 

[Mumbling] Huh!

Pfft… [gasped] What on God’s blue earth is—Forex?

[Pen scribbling]

A Trader’s Labyrinth … What is Forex?

[Four weeks later]

Don’t ask; don’t tell. I had to take a break to figure out—what forex was.

[Scoffs] Update… I didn’t call them back, I had to do my own research… from—yours truly… baby pips.Com… Learnt a lot. But, seems like I’ll need a mentor.

[Recap]

Whew… [clicks tongue] Okay, this is what went down. 

Woke up everyday at 7am, brushed my teeth, mostly forgot to have a bath, said, “Thank you Lord for this day” and… Youtube.

Youtube was were I learnt literally everything, stalked some professionals on social media (yeah… yeah we had socials in 1864. Mind your business), got addicted to their lifestyle, studied their charts… rinse and repeat. 

I did this—every single day.

[Back to reality]

For some weird reason… [Birds squawking] I thought to myself, “You’re ready”… I mean how hard can it be?

[Snickers] Just open your charts, do what you learnt on YouTube, and you’ll be rich—in no time!

Honestly, it was actually very simple. I even started, teaching (unbelievable) what I learnt from Youtube… Giving signals (with demo accounts) and funny enough started getting—calls.

A Trader’s Labyrinth …Money 

[Cars hooting]

The government—told us to wear masks and gloves… That was their preventive measure. 

I could leave my house now, no way I was going back to work though. I mean, there’s “forex”—Right?

Eureka, I have a plan. [Gasp] Why not sell your signals, charge for your courses? 

If you know how to trade, it’s only wise you teach others… I mean—After all, you are making “money” (mind you, it’s virtual)… Pfft.

[Owls peeping]

[Phone keypads clashing] “Hey guys, I will start giving signals at $100 per month… If you want to know how to trade, I’ll also be teaching— a $1000 for six months… To register, send a message”

There!… See… That wasn’t so hard.

[Chuckles] You won’t believe, I set up a payment gateway, and… message sent!

[Phone chimes repeadtedly]

Holy!… What… [Gasp] This can’t be happening.

Not even bluffing guys… I got alerts, not debits (like usual)—Credits!… Not… one—two—but…

Ten.

I got ten signal subscribers. In less than 24 Hrs , I made $1000. That’s like… 11 times my salary. Yo!… Yippee Kay-yay… 

[Phone chimes]

[Mark] Hey Jamal, I saw your message… I’m really interested in leaning to trade. I mean you’re really great at what you do—Hopefully, you can be my teacher. Not to worry, I already sent a $1000 and I’m ready.

[Gasp] Yeah… I tell you. That message from Mark… I was like,

[Mulling] Is this it? So easy, Is it usually this easy?

[Soliloquizing] Jamal, You are, “Earning from home and aiming for millions already”. Damn! God, I didn’t think you listened.

[Snickers] Hello!… I have an actual Job—My dream job.

Do the math with me… I made $2000 in a—Day!

Argh!

I’m Exhausted…

[Children laughing]

You know… [Sniffles] I like to believe this quote, “The best work… Never was; Never will… be done for—Money!”

What do you think went wrong?

I got bored, reality flashed, it got me naked—All I could see… was my pseudonym. Fake account, fake lifestyle, fake reality… I was a fake.

You know what they say, “Trading reveals your character… It doesn’t conceal anything, You can’t run; nor hide.”

Pfft… I like to see it as, “A trader’s personal rapture” 

[Heavy droplets]

It all started on, December 29, 1866. I decided… I was done with them demos. Although I din’t secure my own personal account, People trusted me with their own funds.

Could I handle it?

Well, I thought I could. 

John was the first… John literally gave me an account of $5000. [Gasp] I know what you’re thinking… Trust me I was doing well—Demo wise.

Deal Breaker…

Funny, I sold it so well… that—I didn’t know paper trading and reality trading were two different… Ball games.

[Coughs] I was a year old now in Trading, Never have I tried trading real money. Again, John was the first.

John’s account… was used as my practice account. I’ll get up, look for trades—Something funny started happening. Each time I look for trades, I find one… But, I can’t pull the trigger. 

You know how to shoot a gun… In the presence of an enemy, you can’t seem to pull the trigger. 

[Sighs] Well, that was me. Poor, stupid—cowardly Jamal. Oh! my God, I’m a coward! I can’t believe it. 

[Phone buzzing]

[John] Hey Jamal, I know I shouldn’t be bothering you… But I was wondering—Why… haven’t you started trading yet?

Um… [Trembling] All I could do was stare at the phone. I’ll always reply, “Don’t worry, I will”.

[Wind howling]

The deal breaker for me was, My first loss. Now, I have never had a loss whilst trading—Demo. The pain, the struggles, the throbbing sound of your heart beating… I never got to experience that. Until…

Today!

I blew $5000, I lost everything… I’m exhausted.

Now tell me. What would you do?

A Trader’s Labyrinth … Do We Give Up?

Heh… a trader’s labyrinth… My labyrinth… [stuttering] My choices… 

[Gasping] I have to survive, don’t have a choice. I really can’t die now—not now… Time, Time… [stuttering] time… That’s my only pal at this point.

A Trader's Labyrinth
You have two choices: Kill or Be killed…

What can I do?… [phone rings continuously] Argh… [screaming] Give me some time to figure this out!

The market opens soon. Okay… all I need to do is follow my trading plan, go over my—trading journal. My mental health is at stake… 

Mom… [sniffles] wish you were here. [sobs] I remember the principles and elements. Now, I guess it needs to be applied… 

What happened next?

Why do you think Jamal’s scared?

You’re possibly wondering, “What next… was I successful…”—Well, the point of this… a trader’s labyrinth story… It’s an unending journey. There’s no end.

It’s really not about the “success” part per se—But, the process. You admire all these gurus—right?

[Laughs] Have you ever stopped to wonder… what they actually went through; How they toiled to get there.

This is a cycle!

A Trader’s Labyrinth … It’s a cycle!

Outrageous question [smirk]… pfft… But, have you ever seen a chart before? I know you have (just felt like reminding you to go—check) though [eyes rolling]… 

An example of a cycle is the “chart”. Do you notice that it doesn’t end?

Want to know the cycle?… [exhales] Good, find it here—Tap me!

A Trader's Labyrinth
Just like the butterfly, Where does your cycle end?…

I mean the only reason is… You and I—still exist. Cos’ of that, we would always have this cycle. Similarly, [laughs] heh… your labyrinth… It’s a cycle. Unending lessons, failures, wins, ups-and-downs… In search for one common goal—”Freedom”.

Just like the butterfly, Where does your cycle end?… Do you get to see the beautiful butterfly—with beautiful wings or… You know, Just the pupa.

To be entirely honest (not that I haven’t been)… We all mostly look for “financial freedom”… The majority I mean.

If not, why do you wake up every morning… To look at—candlesticks—like you’re depressed.

So…

I mean, If there’s one thing you need to know… it’s that “we are all connected; everything is connected”

So, “Do I give up; do we give up”… No!—Of course not. We keep going; we keep failing… Against all odds.

But, like I said, “I need time… my mental health is at stake” They keep calling, he keeps calling. Argh! Time…

Ergo, I just have to keep going. Can’t fail—Not this time.

[Tuts] Wait! (before you leave)… Now you know mine—What’s yours?


All my articles are entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of lazyluchi’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities are entirely coincidental. 

Never Miss The Lljournal Article! Become A Master Trader—“Book Lazyluchi”.Want To Know The Next EpisodeTune in to get exposed to my trading journey: personal backstories, experiences, observations, strategies, lessons, struggles, and victories. Hit the—“Subscribe!” BUTTON.

Cheers,

Author