A Trader’s Greatest Nemesis

Traders like you and I, have a common nemesis.

Theo likes to think of this nemesis as a confused—yin yang (chi). Most avatar lovers would probably be able to relate. I wasn’t born with the best of confidence and that affected me over time. Heh! Theo and I will reminiscence about getting a car we wanted but, we knew—we couldn’t afford it. Well, we believed we couldn’t afford it.

[Gasps] It’s graduation and I’m really excited about going to college. I remember applying for School of Candles Pretoria, took it’s exams and I believed I was going to be it’s student. There’s a board in my room—All my dreams where clipped on it. The building of S.C.P, the classroom I was going to be in, even the toilet—Heh, I’m probably imaging it with a Jacuzzi. Well, that is my dream school.

A mail came in, I passed. Wowzah! I was so excited but, wasn’t surprised because—I knew it will happen or, maybe I just believed. It’s not everyday in a man’s life that he magically gets what he desires—but I did and I still couldn’t figure out why. You know how you have something but—don’t know how that thing came to be?

That was exactly my case. Trust me, I’m happy—but, curious as to how these things happen. Mom always said, “I’m very inquisitive…” but honestly—I just want to really be in the know.

Previously On Ll’s Journal…

In my previous article, I remember learning about PAs and it’s meaning to traders out here. Just realized—I never completed that story. Anyway, it will probably make sense if I finished the story now.

I’m going to be pulling out these stories my from my journal entries. I mean this is actually my public journal anyway so—promise me you won’t judge. Actually, I really don’t care. I’ve been through a whole lot to actually be bothered now. I’m sharing because… I believe it will help anyone out there going through similar problems—You also get an insight into my personal life.

All my articles are represented by pseudonyms; some are imaginative—don’t get it twisted, they are real.

Most people don’t realize it yet but—I have an alter ego her name’s Judith and she’s really annoying. Well, she mostly does the things Jamal won’t do. There’s always a clash!

Just like the Yin-yang, we both balance each other. Well, now—but earlier, it was a constant battle. Trading helped me in correcting that. If you remember my start up story you’ll know what I mean.

I remember running out-the-hall that day after Jane told me to “wake up”. If you’re confused, it’s on the PAs.

Who’s Your Nemesis?

[Cars hooting, people chattering]

In everyone’s life, there’s that one person who don’t want to see you win. It could be a close friend, your sister, aunty or even your mama. When you say, “someone or something’s a nemesis”—it means—a rival or opponent that cause harm or ruin.

The hall was quiet I even heard a guy say, “what’s his problem, why is he just standing there staring at us”, another said, “Yo anx-boy did you leave your tongue at home?”—I ran off the stage as fast as I could. Cried in the bathroom that day. That’s when I discovered “performance anxiety” but, I mean this starts from somewhere right?

People don’t just wake up and get anxiety—it’s something that develops mostly from “fear”… For me, these bullies in school were trolls in my life.

They destroyed every ounce of confidence left in me. Each day I walked the corridors in school, all I could think of was, “when’s the bell going to ring?”—These were my nemesis.

Honestly, Jane helped me survive most of the time, she’s my only friend. High school wasn’t a good look for me at all. In fact, everything that has happened—actually made my trading journey tougher.

Traders Like Judith

Back to Judith. Judith, heh… where do I start?

Have you ever seen someone so confident that it feels like he/she is arrogant? That’s Judith. Each time I get the Judith switch, it seems like I literally become the devil—A Heartless, cold, fearless, mean-bi*ch.

Nasdaq100 literally changes—Cos’ this one time I (Judith) took a trade by 12am on a windy Wednesday. My account balance is currently $10,000 in less than 15 hours, It’s at $15,000. If I remember correctly, It was a pullback with a double top—which moved 500 points down. She’s that trader that doesn’t care, think or second-guess her choices—Judith just executes! Whenever I become Judith, I’m always successful—even my losses are reasonable.

Hey, I know Jamal has told you about me—haha, that loser. Anyway, it’s currently 1pm and I just took a trade in Nasdaq100. I flipped that losers account to $15,000—now, I’m going to let you in on a secret, withdraw some cash and invest in my stomach. You see Jamal has me but, because he’s someone with a very low self-esteem, he keeps having issues. All he can do is, learn from me.

I believe in him but of course I don’t make it easy for him so, he always thinks I’m “a heartless, cold, fearless, mean-bitch”. Everything Jamal has gotten in life is actually mine. He only achieves when he lets me in. Which he rarely does!

The funny thing is I actually exist because of him—he created me!

Traders Like Jamal

Oh! my God what am I doing here. Judith! this girl will kill me some day. Pushed my hand in my pocket and saw a note, “Hey loser, I flipped your account, took some cash and fed myself”. I quickly checked my account and saw $14,500.

Tears rushed down my cheeks Cos’ all I knew was—I wanted to be this good. How does she do it? My last trade was a big flop. I keep running away from any trade that takes the wrong turn.

What is Judith doing that I’m not?

It’s Thursday and I remember placing a trade. My account is currently $14,500—all thanks to Judith. I mean if she could do it, why can’t I?

Placed the trade and the anx-boy resurfaced. My heart was pounding, I was sweating, took to my heels immediately I saw -$250. Rain was pouring on my cheeks again or was it tears—“I am never going to be good at this”, I mulled. “You coward!” what are you so scared of?

A Trader’s Reality

Everything we do wrong as traders is based on the effect of what we’re afraid of. So again—What exactly are you scared of Jam?

We all have expectations—my best bet is… Jamal keeps losing because of these expectations and ends up attracting what he’s scared of. Jamal created Judith but, can’t figure out how and why. He got into school of candles because of Judith—That’s why Theo (a colleague you’ll meet pretty soon) says, :”Jamal’s nemesis is like a confused yin-yang”.

Buddha once said, “Who is your biggest enemy? The mind. No one can harm you more than your own mind untamed. And who is your best friend? The mind. No one can help you more than your own mind, wisely trained.”

Ergo…

Most of us traders live in the past and future—we ignore the present. That’s usually how we create this nemesis. The nemesis is created because—we expect so much from ourselves that we forget who we actually are. If you want truth and wholeness—you have to see beyond the mind.

Do you know we have an average of 50,000 thoughts a day? You know—much of what we believe in are actually products of our thoughts and imaginations. Your emotions are what creates these fears and an emotion is just a thought you grew to believing. Jamal is a trader who doesn’t judge a thought—Jamal accepts it. Traders like Judith don’t even think… Cos’ why—it’s pointless. One thought leads to another which creates illusions. Imagine having 100 thoughts before taking a trade…

I could go on and on but, believe it or not… [Grunts and pants]

A trader’s greatest nemesis is his “mind”.


All my articles are entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of lazyluchi’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities are entirely coincidental. 

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Cheers,



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